Night Owl

Aside

Thought I would do a night time post and talk about night times.

ME really messes up your sleep. You can be completely exhausted but unable to sleep or sometimes you sleep all the time and sometimes the sleep pattern is reversed. I find that if I get less than 11 hours sleep then I really pay for it. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning so I wont be getting enough sleep so will definitely need a nap when I get home. Some nights wen I can’t sleep there seems no reason and other nights it is because the pain is so bad and impossible to sleep through it. The most annoying thing is when I get what I call the dreaded itchies. It is like hundreds of insects are crawling all over your body and you want to rip your skin off. Sometimes it is just the crawling feeling and sometimes it is like they are biting and stinging and is painful too. It’s a common symptom and seems to come on with most people late at night when overtired and can’t sleep.

I’m on lots of medications but a couple of months ago I started on ketamine through the pain clinic and while I am still in constant pain, it does eas it more than anything els I have tried and makes it a little more manageable most of the time. It’s an anaesthetic used in people and horses and is also a class B illegal drug but why people take it for pleasure is quite beyond me. It tastes absolutely disgusting. I used to be on orimorph an di thoughtthat was bad but this is utterly revolting and makes me gag every time I take it which is 3 times a day. It can have some horrid side effects with some people such as hallucinations but they start you off on a really low dose and gradually work up the dosage. I stupidly should have got the doctor to write down the instructions because he said 1ml 3 times a day a first but I thought he said 10ml so I was in there on th maximum dosage by mistake. He nearly had a hear attack when he found out my mistake and I was so embarrassed. He couldn’t believe how I hadn’t had terrible side effects but I had just been really sleepy. I did have one night where I kept imagining massive spiders were coming down form the ceiling in the dark but it passed quickly and only happened the once. When I take it it kicks in quite quickly and is horrid. The only way to describe it is like when you have got drunk and the room is spinning and you feel like you are gonna throw up. It is like that but worse and it makes my lips go numb and feel like I can’t control my body or think properly. It lasts about 30-40 mins an di just lie down. I set my alarm in the morning early to take it and then go back to sleep for a couple of hours and I take the night one just before sleeping so I only have to deal with the lunch time one an di just lie down and try and sleep for an hour. It’s not a nice thing at all an di really can’t understand wy anyone would want to take it recreationally at all.

The other night time issue is the really random and vivid dreams. I am on beta blockers and both beta blockers and the ketamine cause the dreams. Sometimes they are scary but usually just so vivid and weird. I am hardly ver in them, it is usually like I am watching a film or reading a book. It’s hard when you wake up and it has been so vivid and you still feel all the emotions from the dream because it has seemed so, so, real.

I have always been a night owl and nothing’s changed but I went through a patch where I was putting off sleeping because I dreaded the mornings so much. Mornings are my worst time of day. I wake up feeling like I have been poisoned and I am dying. It is horrible and I dread it every night. I try and stick to my routine now though of sleep at midnightish and up at 11 ish. It’s nearly 1am now and only just taking my meds and off to sleep which is bad as I have to be up at 9am to get ready for the doctors so I am gonna really struggle tomorrow and the day after.

What else is there to tell about night stuff… Oh yeah the restless leg syndrome only it is more restless body as not just in the legs. It is horrible as well.

I’m gonna take my yucky medicine and get to sleep now but I think I have said everything about night time and sleeping.